THE BLOG TOUR – starring “SPOTLIGHT” Author Rebecca Reilly #RRBC #RaveReviewsBookClub

“SPOTLIGHT” Author Rebecca Reilly from the Rave Reviews Book Club

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Rebecca Reilly is a retired pastor, a massage therapist, and the author of Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated.

 

The Power of Casual Touch

Kaila’s Story – Married 28 years

We’ve been married a long time. I’m not attracted to him anymore. He’s hurt me too much. I don’t want to touch him, much less have sex with him.

Mia’s Story – Married 13 years

It’s not his fault. We’ve just grown apart. I don’t know what to do. I know I don’t want a divorce, but I don’t want him to touch me either.

Anne’s Story – Married 4 years

Everything he does drives me crazy. I don’t know why I married him.

Melina’s Story – Married 21 years

There’s too much resentment. Too much neglect. He’s a good man to other people, but he doesn’t pay attention to me. I don’t think of him fondly.


My heart breaks as I read and listen to stories of marriages on the brink of destruction. Sometimes, intense counseling is necessary to aid healing. Check with your church and with people you trust to find a counselor who understands and supports your faith and is trained to help you in your situation.


 

When affection for your spouse disappears, it does not need to be lost forever. You have a powerful God who fills you with powerful love. “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). You have the almighty God of the universe to fill you, sustain you, and love you as you are.

The focus here is on you. What can you do to rekindle your love and affection for your spouse? How committed are you to allow God to change your heart? Can you do the work needed without expectation that your partner will ever return your love? Because if you focus on changing your mate into something you want, nothing but frustration, anger, and pain awaits.

If you are willing to risk rejection, to give more than you thought possible, and to try day after day after day, casual touch is a powerful tool to spark a dying love.

Research studies across the board demonstrate that affectionate touching is essential for emotional development; it also eases physical pain, slows the heart rate, drops blood pressure, and speeds up recovery from illness. In other words, touch has the power to heal.

Affectionate touch heals physically. It heals emotionally. And it heals relationally. Casual touch says I love you, and you are important to me. Most importantly in this case, casual affectionate touch begins to build a love bridge that reaches from you to your spouse.

When you make the conscious and deliberate step to act out an emotion you once felt, your heart begins to feel again. Not the first time, not the second, and maybe not the third. But if you desire to love your spouse, and you demonstrate that love before you feel it, amazing things can happen. There is power in demonstrating love without feeling the emotional tie. By choosing to love, by using your mind to consciously decide to demonstrate affection, affection grows. Love grows.

If possible, ask your spouse to hold you every morning and every night—just a thirty-second hug. Asking brings your spouse onto the love bridge. It helps build the affection for him or her, too. If you cannot ask, you must step forward and do. Hug. Hold. Be physically close for thirty seconds.

Reach for his hand whenever you can. Put your arm around her as you walk or sit. Two, three, four times a day initiate affectionate touch. Come back and try again later if your partner pulls away. Let him or her know you need to touch and be touched. You will not give up on your relationship.

What do you have to lose? It does not compare to what you have to gain.

 

How Do I Touch You? Let Me Count the Ways

When it comes to casual touch, it is best to trust your instincts. If you think about touching your spouse, do it. Catch his or her eye and smile; just a second adds power to your message of love.

Hold hands whenever possible.

Hug each other. Hold on a few seconds too long.

Play footsies under your dinner table.

Put your head in his lap as you watch a movie or the news.

Pull her head to your lap and give her a scalp massage. Cup her head with both hands and slowly move your fingers in circles. Ask her how it feels. Does she want it softer or harder? You can also gently pull strands of hair. Move across her scalp as you pull.

Use your fingernails as you stroke up his forearm.

Give her a hand massage. Use lotion and your thumb to give steady pressure.

Use his electric razor to shave his face. Have him lie down in bed. Use gentle strokes to put him to sleep.

Massage her feet. Use lotion. Press your thumbs in circles across her arch. Run your fingertips along the base of her toes. Rub her heal across the palm of your hand. Just touch, smooth, and pamper her.

Giving your spouse a full body massage does a lot of wonderful things for your relationship. If you make this a regular part of your life, you might want to purchase a fairly cheap portable massage table. If not, the sofa or bed works, but can be hard on the body of the giver. Start with gentle pressure. You are giving and receiving touch, not trying to release knots. Smooth, long, confident strokes feel good. Use lotion, and try to avoid jerky movements. Women tend to carry tension in the muscles around their neck. Do not squeeze too tightly. Ask how the pressure feels and adjust. Men tend to carry their tension in their lower back. Use your thumbs and push up and down along the spine (one thumb on each side), then use the heel of your hand to press from the spine toward the hip in the lower back.

The buttocks hold large muscles. You can roll your fist across them, or use the palm of your hand to go deeper. Again, ask how your pressure feels and adjust.

When massaging the legs and arms, begin at the extremities (feet or hands) and move toward the heart. Long, firm, gentle strokes feel good and are comforting.

One of the most relaxing massages is one done on the face. Begin with your fingertips at the center of your spouse’s forehead. Bring your hands down to his or her temples, one hand on each side. Move your fingertips in circular motions over the temples. Repeat several times. Press one finger on each side of the bridge of the nose. Move your fingers, pressing over the sinus area. Use your fingertips to rub circles over the joint of the jaw, and then gently massage the outer part of the ears. Finish with a scalp massage.

 

On Your Own

Look in the mirror and remind yourself of these facts every day:

  • God knows my every fault, and He loves me deeply.
  • I am worthy to be loved.
  • I am a masterpiece created by the God who invented beauty.
  • God blessed me with talents, some of which I have not yet discovered.
  • God has forgiven me. I must forgive myself.
  • It is right to love myself. I see value in who I am.
  • I am a work in progress. I like where I am going.

Evaluate yourself:

  • In 2 Thessalonians 1:3, Paul says, “We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.” Do you believe your love for your spouse can increase? What can you do to help your love grow?
  • Affectionate love and sexual love go together in good marriages. Which type of love is strongest in you? Which type of love is strongest in your marriage? Do you see the value in working on each type of love? Why or why not? What strategies do you have for working on affectionate love? On sexual love?
  • What keeps you from casually touching your spouse more often? Can you change that?
  • Count how many times you casually touch your spouse in one day. Add to it the next day.

 

Sometime this week, say these things to your spouse:

  • You are worthy to be loved.
  • I am worthy to be loved.
  • I need to touch you. I need you to touch me.
  • Can I give you a massage?
  • I think about you when you are gone.
  • I’m glad we’re friends as well as lovers.
  • I need your affection.
  • You make me happy.
  • I love you. I’m glad I married you. I’d marry you again tomorrow.

Open Communication

Conversation Starters

  • What is the most sensitive part of your body to touch?
  • What do I do that that tells you I love you?
  • If we were in a room full of people and couldn’t have sex, what five things could I do to show you I want you, I need you, and I love you?
  • Did you see/feel a lot of affection when you were growing up?
  • How can we model affection for our children?

 

Just an Idea

  • Take a walk. Hold hands the entire time.
  • While watching television, exchange scalp and neck massages. One partner sits on the floor in front of the other. Switch half way through the show.
  • Do a mundane chore together (washing dishes, folding laundry, etc). Casually touch often throughout the time you work.
  • Bet a fifteen-minute back massage on the next sporting event you watch together.

 

 

 

Purchase Rebecca Reilly’s

Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated

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Amazon Paperback: http://bit.ly/SexMarriagePB

Barnes and Noble:  http://bit.ly/sexBN

iTunes– http://bit.ly/iTunessexandmarriage

 

Follow Rebecca Reilly:

Twitter: @RebeccaReillyL

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaLynnReilly/

Website (sign up for her newsletter): rebeccareilly.net

Email: Rebeccareilly.author@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – Jenny Hinsman

Hello readers – today on THE GUNDERSTONE REVIEW, as well as on ALL of my social media sites, I am going to spotlight, promote, and propel one of my fellow authors from my online book club – #RaveReviews BookClub ( #RRBC )

I have volunteered three days in total this week for our “PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK” effort which will showcase three different Rave Reviews Book Club authors.

If you are an author and want this kind of support, you can get in on “that action” via membership to the #RaveReviews BookClub.


Jenny
Today I am spotlighting – Jennifer Hinsman, author of Angel of Death and Souls: A Novel

Author Bio: Jenny graduated from the University of Colorado at Boulder with a degree in business. She currently resides in Michigan with her husband, two sons, a furry son (pet dog) and a furry daughter (pet cat). Jenny is an avid reader and loves to escape with a great book. She is a huge animal lover and supports rescue organizations that help save all kinds of four-legged family members and more. All of her family pets have been rescues.


AngelaAngel of Death – BOOK BLURB: Friends from college, Tancy and Audrey love one another like family. They grew up in very different worlds, one poor, with absent, drug-addicted parents, the other with wealth and privilege. As roommates, they delve into the seedy world of escorts as they try to solve a cold case murder from Tancy’s childhood. Chance meetings and twists of fate alter both their lives. Romance, steamy sex and danger await the women, as everything about the murder is uncovered. Shocking details emerge that change their lives forever and reinforces the bond of true friendship.

 

 

 


SoulsSouls: A Novel – BOOK BLURB: Souls is the unforgettable story of Ann, and the painful death of her twin sister, Celeste. Ann sets out on a quest to find the killer of her womb-mate following the subsequent death of her parents and after depression nearly kills her.

Ann finds herself in California seeking out a Hollywood producer as the perpetrator and while there finds her soul coming back to life when she meets a young actor, Tyler Peters. She cringes at the idea of dating someone younger and becoming a ‘cougar’, but she may be able to use him for his Hollywood connections. An astonishing electricity between the two turns to a passionate and deep love that is tested by an unpredictable twist that comes when Ann figures out who is behind her sister’s death.

 


Social Media links

Email: hinsmanj@gmail.com
Blog/Website: http://hinsmanj.wordpress.com
Twitter: @JennyHinsman1
Facebook Page URL:
www.facebook.com/SoulsANovel

“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – Jan Hawke

Hello readers – today on THE GUNDERSTONE REVIEW, as well as on ALL of my social media sites, I am going to spotlight, promote, and propel one of my fellow authors from my online book club – #RaveReviews BookClub ( #RRBC )

I have volunteered three days in total this week for our “PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK” effort which will showcase three different Rave Reviews Book Club authors.

If you are an author and want this kind of support, you can get in on “that action” via membership to the #RaveReviews BookClub.


without

Today I am spotlighting Jan Hawke, author of Milele Safari – An Eternal Journey.

Author Bio: I live near Launceston in Cornwall, UK with Toby and Benji the Springer Spaniels – it’s a tie between us all as to who’s maddest, but as I outrank them in being weird anyway it’s not open to debate really. I’m physically lazy with things that don’t hold much interest for me (so that’s mostly housework and, increasingly, cooking…), but I love where we live, mainly because I chose it for being so quiet and off the beaten track, very close to the moors and quite near to the sea. I also love books, both to write and to read, the latter of which can be very eclectic (I enjoy Julian Barnes, Kate Atkinson, Jeanette Winterson and will happily admit to Jilly Cooper too) but in the main I’m heavily into SF&F, particularly Tolkien, Terry Pratchett and Julian May, although I can pass on Zombie Apocalypses fairly easily… …how I’ve chosen to write about Africa for my first novel may be something of a surprise to my friends, but if you read it you may find that all of the above information manifests in there somehow!


 

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Book Blurb: Milele Safari back blurb – Milele Safari – An Eternal Journey …twines around a single day, in an unremarkable border village that snuffs out the lives of four people and shatters many others, only to draw the survivors back to a different time and, perhaps, a hope of atonement and peace. Step out on the journey and discover an Africa that could have been, is and might one day come to be.

Book linksAmazon (print & eBook) – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0992747201/

Barnes & Noble (print only) – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/milele-safari-an-eternal-journey-janette-mary-hawke/1117529970?ean=9780992747206

Milele Safari blog http://milelesafari.blogspot.co.uk/p/taster-1.html


Social Media links

Twitter – @JanHawke

Facebook Author page – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jan-Hawke/386239624841750

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=254177051

Author blog – Jan Hawke INKorporated http://janhawke.me/

 

“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – Rebecca Lombardo

“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK

Today’s RRBC Author – Rebecca Lombardo

Hello readers – today on THE GUNDERSTONE REVIEW, as well as on ALL of my social media sites, I am going to spotlight, promote, and propel one of my fellow authors from my online book club – #RaveReviews BookClub ( #RRBC )

I have volunteered three days in total this week for our “PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK” effort which will showcase three different Rave Reviews Book Club authors.

If you are an author and want this kind of support, you can get in on “that action” via membership to the #RaveReviews BookClub.


RebeccaToday I am spotlighting Rebecca Lombardo, author of It’s Not Your Journey.

In her own words:

I’m 42 years old and have been very happily married for 14 years. I live in Michigan with my fantastic husband, Joe. We don’t have children, but we have 5 cats that we rescued. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 19, and I’ve been battling it every day since. I recently closed down a home-based business that I was running, and have been devoting my time to writing and photography. I write to give my feelings a voice and to help others that are struggling. That is why I started a blog in 2013 after I survived a suicide attempt. I’m proud to say that my blog, “It’s Not Your Journey” has now been turned into a book, and was released on August 21, 2015. I consider myself not only a survivor but a warrior.


It’s Not Your Journey

notSynopsis

In her first published work, Rebecca Lombardo collects her internationally followed blog into the pages of It’s Not Your Journey. Rebecca shares her struggles with bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, self-injury, and recovery from a suicide attempt.

Rebecca candidly reveals her real and raw feelings on these subjects, as well as addressing other issues that have contributed to her downward spiral and eventual climb out of her own pit of despair. Issues such as the loss of her mother to lung cancer, the death of her brother, abandonment from friends and family members due to her hospitalization, and more.

At 42 years of age and happily married for nearly 14 years, Rebecca can finally say that she is on her way to reaching her dream. Not only does she hope to help people that are struggling with depression, she hopes to help everyone realize that you are never too old to find your voice.

 

 


You can follow Rebecca and her works through the following links:

Email: Paradoks1@aol.com
Blog/Website: http://itsnotyourjourney2013.wordpress.com
Twitter Handle: @bekalombardo
Facebook Page URL: www.facebook.com/notyourjourney

THE BLOG TOUR – starring “SPOTLIGHT” Author, Jan Hawke #RRBC #RaveReviewsBookClub

Tall ships and stars…

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;

Sea-fever by John Masefield

 

There’s a lot to be said for being self-sufficient, especially if you’re a solitary ‘seafaring’ author. 2015 was a terrific year for me in all its meanings, including the negative. For the first time in my life, and after 39 years of relatively calm marital waters, I found myself living on my own after my husband, Pete, did not survive major cardiac surgery.

We only had about 10 days to come to terms with the gravity of his condition, but, as he’d come through several other serious medical procedures in the past 5 years with flying colours, were fairly hopeful. Our luck ran out basically. The day Pete was in surgery, I was driving home from another hospital appointment, when I heard on the radio that my great literary hero, Terry Pratchett, had also died peacefully at home that morning, after a very public struggle with early onset posterior cortical atrophy dementia.

I lost both my heroes within 24 hours. I like to think that the day after, Pete and Terry met up on the newcomers’ orientation tour of the ‘better place’ I know they both went to, and had a little chinwag at the bar. They both loved a pint of ale and a good brandy. This whimsy, thankfully, set me off on a more positive terrific track, after I emerged from the usual state of numb shock that comes when the hub of your world is taken away. My family and friends were wonderful in helping me cope with the ‘arrangements’ – I know that Pete would have loved his funeral, and his final resting place, out in the garden beside the pipe fountain that he never quite found the time to move from the garage, where it had been gathering cobwebs since we bought it over 10 years ago.

That was us really – mañana; pole, pole (slowly, slowly); smell the roses… So, facing life without Pete has been a terrific challenge. For the most part I’ve come through pretty well, but of course I’ve had to make some changes. Most have been towards getting practical matters in order so I don’t have to worry about them, which includes some major changes to the house. That hopefully will be finished this summer with the installation of a new extension that will incorporate my ‘dream’ study and library.

Which is why I’m facing 2016 with lots of positive terrific feelings, because I’m so proud and confident of doing more than just surviving the last 11 months. My health isn’t great, but I’m gradually making improvements, and some of the building work will help towards that as well. I’ve kept my mind busy too – RRBC was been at the forefront in that respect, with all the different new activities that have been introduced this year, not to mention my joining the governing board, having a MoW and a BoM slot and getting my act together on my blog (janhawke.me) and on the social networks. As an author, I’ve grown my platform, my audience and been getting great reviews; have a solo anthology-memoir to be published in the Spring, and generally ‘got myself out there’. The one thing I haven’t done is much original writing (the anthology’s a collation of previous work) – but this is about to change! Having been beavering away at all these facets of my life, I’ve finally got to the place where I can draw a deep breath, having cleared all the decks, and walk onto my terrific new vessel to set out on an awfully big adventure. The work in progress beckons mightily, and I couldn’t be happier as I slip my moorings and set out to sea, following a star of my own making!

You’ll find out more about that later in the week!

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Author Bio: I live near Launceston in Cornwall, UK with Toby and Benji the Springer Spaniels – it’s a tie between us all as to who’s maddest, but as I outrank them in being weird anyway it’s not open to debate really. I’m physically lazy with things that don’t hold much interest for me (so that’s mostly housework and, increasingly, cooking…), but I love where we live, mainly because I chose it for being so quiet and off the beaten track, very close to the moors and quite near to the sea. I also love books, both to write and to read, the latter of which can be very eclectic (I enjoy Julian Barnes, Kate Atkinson, Jeanette Winterson and will happily admit to Jilly Cooper too) but in the main I’m heavily into SF&F, particularly Tolkien, Terry Pratchett and Julian May, although I can pass on Zombie Apocalypses fairly easily… …how I’ve chosen to write about Africa for my first novel may be something of a surprise to my friends, but if you read it you may find that all of the above information manifests in there somehow!

 

without

Book Blurb: Milele Safari back blurb – Milele Safari – An Eternal Journey …twines around a single day, in an unremarkable border village that snuffs out the lives of four people and shatters many others, only to draw the survivors back to a different time and, perhaps, a hope of atonement and peace. Step out on the journey and discover an Africa that could have been, is and might one day come to be.

Book linksAmazon (print & eBook) – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0992747201/

Barnes & Noble (print only) – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/milele-safari-an-eternal-journey-janette-mary-hawke/1117529970?ean=9780992747206

Milele Safari blog http://milelesafari.blogspot.co.uk/p/taster-1.html


Social Media links

Twitter – @JanHawke

Facebook Author page – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jan-Hawke/386239624841750

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=254177051

Author blog – Jan Hawke INKorporated http://janhawke.me/

 

“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – three great authors from the Rave Reviews Book Club

Hello readers – all this week on THE GUNDERSTONE REVIEW, as well as on ALL of my social media sites, I have been to spotlighting, promoting, and propelling three of my fellow authors from my online book club – #RaveReviews BookClub ( #RRBC )

If you are an author and want this kind of support, you can get in on “that action” via membership to the #RaveReviews BookClub.

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Here are the links all three of my “PAY IT FORWARD” efforts from this week:

“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – ISABEL PIETRI

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“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – Lizzie Chantree

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“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – MISHA ELLIOTT

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“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – MISHA ELLIOTT

“PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK – Today’s RRBC Author – MISHA ELLIOTT

misha

Hello readers – today on THE GUNDERSTONE REVIEW, as well as on ALL of my social media sites, I am going to spotlight, promote, and propel one of my fellow authors from my online book club – #RaveReviews BookClub ( #RRBC )

I have volunteered three days in total this week for our “PAY IT FORWARD” WEEK” effort which will showcase three different Rave Reviews Book Club authors.

If you are an author and want this kind of support, you can get in on “that action” via membership to the #RaveReviews BookClub.

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Today I am spotlighting Misha Elliott, author of Saving Leah and Learning to Fly.

She was also a featured author in the Christmas in the City set of books. These were fourteen newly written stories by fifteen Authors in the City authors. This anthology will benefit a children’s hospital in the Florida area where the 2016 Authors in the City book signing will be held. Authors in the City is hosted by Stephanie’s Book Reports. Misha’s contribution in that set was titled “All I Want for Christmas”.

In her own words:

Misha Elliott is an old movie watching, wine drinking, book-lover. Once a northerner she now calls the sweet state of Alabama her home. She can’t remember a time when books weren’t a part of her life. Writing gives her a reason to talk to the voices in her head. When she isn’t writing you will find her talking about books with friends or at the beach with her toes in the sand.

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Saving Leah

saving

Synopsis

Sometimes the only thing worse than revealing a painful secret is keeping it from the one who wants to save you.

In time, fractured bones mend and torn flesh heals. But what about a fractured soul? Years of abuse have left Leah scared and broken, in solitude with the only symbol of the person she used to be-her violin.

While in hiding, she never expected to meet the handsome and alluring Asher. Can he save her before all is lost or will her secrets become the death of her?

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Learning to Fly

learn

Synopsis

Growing up is hard enough for the average teen. Not even the average teen has the job of raising their mother in addition to themselves. When another one of her mother’s failed relationships forces the two to move, once again, it makes Sophie face an impossible change for her senior year.

What seemed like punishment has turned into an opportunity. However, what will Sophie do when she has a chance to experience being young for the first time? She’s sure to make a mistake or two while learning to fly.

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You can follow Misha and her works through the following links:

Author Blog – http://mishaelliott.com/category/bookish-blog/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elliottmisha

Website: http://mishaelliott.com/

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Misha-Elliott/e/B00FCWP81M/